Desktop: Heaven Can't Wait

 

"Heaven Can't Wait" is a 17K word m/m romance novella that is being published as part of Dreamspinner's Daily Dose for 2014.  It's also available as a stand-alone novella here.

You can read an excerpt on my site on this page.

Here's the blurb:

When Brian Matheson dies at nineteen, his soul is in limbo. He has one chance to redeem himself before he’s thrown into a nasty pit. All Brian has to do is save the life of Kevin Anderson, a boy he and his friends tormented for being gay. 

Kevin thought he’d finally escaped bullying. But his college roommate, Chuck, and his homophobic pals, prove him wrong. Now he can only wait for another room to open up—and try to keep his eyes off sexy, uber-straight Chuck. 

Chuck is struggling to keep up the tough-guy façade everyone expects, but being trapped in a dorm room with the prettiest twink he’s ever seen isn’t helping him keep his feelings hidden. 

If Brian can untangle this mess, he’ll deserve his wings

This is my traditional "desktop" post, where I share images I used for inspiration during the writing of "Heaven Can't Wait".

Kevin & Chuck:

Above was my visual inspiration for Kevin and Chuck.  These guys are Ty Roderick and Max Carter in a scene from Cocky Boys.  I really love these two together and the contrast between them physically, so I had them in my head for Chuck and Kevin.

Cole Hall, University of Madison, Wisconsin

My story is set in heaven and on the U. Madison campus.  My niece went there and I enjoyed a long walk around the campus one fine spring day.  Below is the dorm where Kevin and Chuck share a room.

Peter

I think my favorite character in this story is Peter, the no-nonsense, highly impatient judge that Brian faces in heaven. I knew if I was going to include heaven in a story I couldn't approach it too seriously as it would quickly get deep and maudlin. So my approach is very lighthearted and humorous--and Peter provides that (and also the title of the story).  Here's my idea of what Peter looks like--Alan Rickman (if he were wearing white robes).

And finally, a little 'mood' inspiration.

That's it for this time.  Hope you enjoy reading "Heaven Can't Wait".

Eli

"Mistletoe" in Italian and "Superhero" in audio!

I have a few new releases to celebrate today! First, "Blame it on the Mistletoe" is now out in Italian from publisher Triskell Edizioni. This is my first Eli Easton foreign edition and it's very exciting:

http://www.triskelledizioni.it/ebook-tutta-colpa-del-vischio-eli-easton/

Second, "Superhero" is now available in audio!  This is my first Eli Easton book done as an audio book.  Thanks to Dreamspinner for producing this edition.

Check it out on audible.com

Eli

Kingdom Come: Just Completed

Yesterday I finished the first edit of "Kingdom Come" and sent it off to beta.  "Kingdom Come" is a murder mystery novel set in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and it involves the Amish. And there is a m-m romance plotline to it as well. Like the hero, Detective Meyer Harris, I was born in Pennsylvania and moved away for college.  My husband and I returned 3 years ago and bought a farm here.  Although Meyer's reasons for returning are different than mine, a lot of his feelings about Lancaster County--good and bad--are autobiographical.

"Kingdom Come" also represents a sort of cross-over for me. Before I wrote m/m romance as Eli Easton, I published mysteries and thrillers under another name.  "Kingdom Come" contains both that old writer and the new.

Here're a few images I used for inspiration of the tone and mood of "Kingdom Come".  It's something like a m/m version of "Witness" meets "The Killing" (the AMC TV show). NOTE: These are not the official cover, just inspiration images.

And here's an early excerpt -- the first part of chapter 1.

1

The Dead Girl

“We’ve got a dead girl.  I need you.”

I blearily looked at the clock. It was five-forty-five a.m. on a Wednesday morning. I hated being woken up early.  It ranked right up there with cold coffee and flat tires.

“Where?” I tried to get my mind clear of the bitter murk of a lingering nightmare.  I couldn’t remember the details, but I remembered holding Terry’s cold, wet hand as he laid in the street.

Grady gave me the address.  “It’s… sensitive,” he added, his voice tight.

“All right.”  I didn’t get his meaning. It wasn’t like I was going to stop on the way and alert the media. Still, those two words haunted me as I followed the GPS to the address he gave me. When I drew close I understood.

The address on Grimlace Lane was an Amish farm in the middle of a whole lot of other Amish farms in the borough of Paradise, Pennsylvania. Sensitive like a broken tooth. Murders didn’t happen here, not here.

Even before I parked, my mind started generating theories and scenarios. Dead girl, Grady had said. If it had been natural causes or an accident, like falling down the stairs, Grady wouldn’t have called me in. It had to be murder or at least a suspicious death. A father disciplining his daughter a little too hard?  Dottering Grandma dipping into the rat poison rather than the flour?

There were a couple of black-and-whites and an unmarked car—Grady’s—by the barn.  The CSI team and coroner had not yet arrived.  I didn’t live far from the murder site.  I was glad for the head start and the quiet.

I paused outside my car to get a sense of place.  The interior of the barn glowed in the cold dark of a winter morning.  I took in the classic white shape of a two-story bank barn, the snowy corn fields behind, the glow of lanterns coming from the huge, barely open barn door…. It looked like one of those quaint paintings you see hanging in the local tourist shops with a title like Winter Dawn. I’d only moved back to Pennsylvania eight month ago after spending ten years in Manhattan. I still felt a pang at the quiet beauty of it.

Until I opened the door and slipped inside.

It wasn’t what I expected. It was like some bizarre and horrific game of mixed-up pictures. The warmth of the rough barn wood was lit by a half dozen oil lanterns. Add in the scattered straw, two Jersey cows, and twice as many horses, all watching the proceedings with bland interest from various stalls, and it felt like a cozy step back in time.  That vibe did not compute with the dead girl on the floor of the barn. She was most definitely not Amish, which was the first surprise. She was young and beautiful, like something out of a 50’s pulp magazine. She had long, honey blond hair and a face that still had the blush of life thanks to the heavy make-up she wore. She had on a candy pink sweater that molded over taunt breasts and a short gray wool skirt that was pushed up to her hips. She still wore pink underwear, though it looked roughly twisted.  Her nails were the same shade as her sweater.  Her bare feet, thighs, and hands were blue-white with death, and her neck too, at the line below her jaw where the make-up stopped.

The whole scene felt unreal, like some pretentious performance art, the kind in those Soho galleries Terry had always dragged me too.  But then, death always looked unreal.

“Coat?  Shoes?” I asked, already taking inventory. Maybe knee-high boots, I thought, reconstructing it in my mind.  And thick tights to go with that wool skirt.  Even a girl worried more about looks than weather wouldn’t go bare-legged in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania in January.

“They’re not here. We looked.” Grady’s voice was tense. I finally spared him a glance. His face was drawn in a way I’d never seen before, like he was digesting a meal of ground glass.

In that instant, I saw the media attention this could get, the politics, the outrage. I remembered that Amish school shooting a few years back. I hadn’t lived here then, but I’d seen the press. Who hadn’t?

“You sure you want me on this?” I asked him quietly.

“You’re the most experienced homicide detective I’ve got,” Grady said. “I need you, Harris. And I need this wrapped up quickly.”

“Yeah.” I wasn’t agreeing that it could be. My gut said this wasn’t going to be a shut-and-dried case, but I agreed it would be nice. “Who found her? Do we know who she is?”

“Jacob Miller, eleven years old. He’s the son of the Amish farmer who lives here. Poor kid. Came out to milk the cows this morning and found her just like that.  The family says they have no idea who she is or how she got here.”

“How many people live on the property?”

“Amos Miller, his wife, and their six children. The oldest, a boy, is fifteen. The youngest is three.”

More vehicles pulled up outside.  The forensics team no doubt. I was gratified that Grady had called me in first. It was good to see the scene before it turned into a lab.

“Can you hold them outside for five minutes?” I asked Grady.

He nodded and went out.

I pulled on some latex gloves, then looked at the body, bending down to get as close to it as I could without touching it.  The left side of her head, towards the back, was matted with blood and had the look of a compromised skull.  The death blow?  I tried to imagine what had happened. The killer—he or she——had probably come up behind the victim, struck her with something heavy.  The autopsy would tell us more.  I didn’t think it had happened here. There were no signs of a disturbance or the blood you’d expect from a head wound, and it just felt wrong. I carefully pulled up her hip a bit and looked at the underside of her back and thigh. Very minor lividity. She hadn’t been in this position long—no more than six hours. And I noticed something else—her clothes were wet.  I rubbed a bit of her wool skirt and sweater between my fingers to be sure—and came away with dampness on the latex.  She wasn’t soaked now, and her skin was dry, so she’d been here long enough to dry out, but she’s been very wet at some point.  I could see now that her hair wasn’t just styled in a casual damp-dry curl, it had been recently wet, probably post-mortem along with her clothes.

I straightened frowning.  It was odd.  We’d had two inches of snow the previous afternoon, but it was too cold for rain.  If the body had been left outside in the snow would it have gotten this wet?  Maybe the M.E. could tell me.

Since I was sure she hadn’t been killed in the barn, I checked the floor for drag marks. The floor was wooden planks kept so clean there was no straw or dirt in which drag marks would show, but there were traces of wet prints.  Then again, the boy who’d found the body had been in the barn and so had Grady and the uniforms, and me too. I carefully examined the girl’s bare feet.  There was no broken skin, no sign her feet had been dragged through the snow or across rough boards.

The killer was strong. He’d carried her in here and laid her down.  Which meant he’d arranged her like this—pulled up her skirt, splayed her thighs.  He’d wanted it to look sexual. Why?

The doors opened.  Grady and the forensics team stood in the doorway.

“Blacklight this whole area,” I requested. “And this floor—see if you can get any prints or traffic patterns off it. Don’t let anyone in until that’s done. I’m going to look outside.”  I looked at Grady. “The M.E.?”

“Should be here any minute.”

“Good.  Make sure she’s tested for any signs of penetration, consensual or otherwise.”

“Right.”

Grady barked orders. The crime scene technicians—a pair I knew by name only, Jill and Anthony—pulled on blue coveralls and booties just outside the door.  This was only the sixth homicide needing real investigation I’d been on since moving back to Lancaster—the others had been cut-and-dried domestic or gang violence.  I was still impressed that the department had decent tools and protocol, even though I knew that was just big city arrogance talking.

I left them to it and went out to find my killer’s tracks in the snow.

*                          *                         *

This winter had been harsh this year. In fact, it was shaping up to be the worst in decades. We’d had a white Christmas and then it never really left. The fresh two inches we’d gotten the day before had covered up an older foot or two of dirty snow and ice. Thanks to a low of the 20’s overnight, the fresh snow had a dry, powdery surface that showed no signs of melting.  It still wasn’t fun to walk on, though, due to the underlying grunge. It said a lot about the killer if he’d carried her body over any distance.

There was a neatly shoveled path from the house to the barn and in front of the barn doors. Most of the snow in the central open area between the house and the barn had been stomped down, from feet both human and animal. It didn’t take me long to spot a deep set of prints heading off across an open field that was otherwise pristine.  The line of prints came and went, the ‘leaving’ prints sometimes laying over the approaching prints. They showed a sole like a work boot and they were as large as my own feet. They came from, and returned to, a distant copse of trees.  I bent over to examine one of the prints close to the barn.  It had definitely been made since the last snowfall.

A few minutes later, I got my first look at Amos Miller, the Amish farmer who owned the property. Grady called him out and showed him the tracks. Miller looked to be in his mid-forties with dark brown hair and a long, unkempt beard.  His face was round and solemn.  I said nothing, just observed. There’d be time later to question Miller and everyone else on the property. Right now those tracks were glowing in my brain like they were covered in radioactive dust.

They say the first forty-eight hours are critical in a homicide case, and that’s true, but, frankly, a lot of murders can be solved in the first eight hours. Sometimes it’s obvious—the boyfriend standing there with a guilty look and blood under his nails rambling about a ‘masked robber’. Sometimes the neighbors can tell you they heard a knock-down, drag-out fight. And sometimes… there are tracks in the snow.

“Nah. I didn’t make them prints and ain’t no reason for my boys to be out there.” He said ‘there’ as dah, his German accent as broad as his face. “But lemme ask ’em just to be sure.”

He started to stomp away. I called after him. “Bring them out here, please.”

Grady shot me an assessing look, but he didn’t argue. I wanted to see their faces as they denied it—assuming they did.

First impression of Amos Miller?  He looked worried. Then again, he was an Amish farmer with two boys in their teens. A  beautiful young English girl—the Amish called everyone who was not Amish ‘English’—was dead and spread-eagle in his barn. I’d be worried too.

He came back with three boys.  The youngest was small and still a child. That was probably Jacob, the eleven-year-old who’d found the body. His face was blank, like he was in shock. The next one up looked to be around thirteen, just starting puberty. He was thin with a rather awkward nose and oversized hands he still hadn’t grown into.  His father introduced him as Ham. The oldest, Wayne, had to be the fifteen-year-old that Grady mentioned, the oldest child. All three were decent-looking boys in that wholesome, bowl-cut way of Amish youth. The older two looked excited but not guilty. I suppose it was quite an event, having a dead body found on your farm.  I wondered if the older boys had been in the barn to see the girl since their little brother’s discovery.  Knowing how large families worked, I couldn’t imagine they hadn’t.

Each of the boys looked at the tracks and shook his head.  “Nah,” the oldest added for good measure.  “Ain’t from me.”

“Any of you recognize that print?” I asked. “Does it look like boots you’ve seen before?”

They all craned forward to look.  Amos stroked his beard. “Just look like boots. Maybe. You can check all ours if you like. We’ve nothin’ to hide.”

I nodded at Grady. We’d definitely want the crime team to inventory every pair of shoes and boots in the house.

“Would you all mind stepping over here for me?”  I lead them over to the other side of the ice-and-gravel drive where there was some untouched snow.  “Youngest to oldest, one at a time.”

The youngest stepped forward into the snow with both feet, then back. The others mimicked his actions obediently, including Amos Miller.

“Thank you. That’s all for now. I’ll want to speak to you a bit later, so please stay home.”

They went back inside and Grady and I compared the tracks. All three of the boys had visibly smaller feet than the tracks in the snow. Amos’s prints were possibly large enough but didn’t have the same sole pattern.  Besides, I was sure Grady wasn’t missing the fact that the prints came and went from the trees since the prints heading that direction overlaid the ones approaching the barn.

“Ronks Road is over there beyond those woods.” Grady sounded hopeful as he pointed across the field. “Can it be that easy?”

“Don’t!”

Grady cocked an eyebrow at me.

“You’ll jinx it. Never say the word ‘easy’. That’s inviting Murphy and his six cousins.”

Grady smirked a bit. “Well if the killer dumped her here, he had to come from somewhere.”

I grunted. I knew what Grady was thinking. I was thinking it too.  A car of rowdy youth, or maybe just a guy and his hot date.  A girl ends up dead and he/they get the bright idea to dump her on an Amish farm.  They drive out here, park, cross a snowy cornfield and leave her in a random barn.

It sounded like a stupid teenage prank, only it was murder and possibly an attempt to frame someone else.  That was a lot of prison years of serious.  A story like that—it would make the press happy and Grady fucking ecstatic, especially if we could nab the guy who wore those boots by tonight.

“Get a photographer and a recorder and let’s go,” I said, feeling only a moment’s silent regret over my suede oxfords.  I should have worn my snow boots.

Eli

When M/M Goes Wild

I love contemporary m/m romances, as those on who follow my goodreads reviews (or even this blog) know.  However, after reading hundreds of such books, I sometimes get a yen for something a little different. I grew up reading horror:  Stephen King, John Saul, Dean Koonz, Anne Rice.  Every book I read in high school—and that was a lot—had a shiny black cover. You know the books I mean.  I also love science fiction movies (I Robot, Bladerunner, 2001, Matrix, District 9, Battlestar Gallactica).  In a previous incarnation as an author I wrote thrillers and sci-fi in the 90’s.

So after getting addiction to m/m romance, and writing some contemporaries of my own, I find the “weird” and the “wild” creeping back in.  After all – a plotty plot, some chills and thrills, and m/m sex. What could be better than that?

Some of my favorite “Wild” m/m stand alone stories:

Bone Rider by J. Fally – A ‘first contact’ story that reads like a best selling thriller. Excellent plotting and characters, plus an unusual and hot m/m romance, make this a must-read for m/m fans.

Kraken by M. Caspian – A wonderful blend of horror and m/m romance, in Kraken a man visits an island only to become trapped there and in a dubious consent relationship with something that has… tentacles. Creepy and compelling.

Billy’s Bones  by Jamie Fessenden – A dark murder mystery/psychological thriller as well as a m/m romance, Billy’s Bones is an excellent story that will keep you hooked.

Wilde Stories: Year’s Best Gay Speculative Fiction anthologies:

This series collects the year’s best in gay sci-fi/fantasy/horror fiction. Not all of them are romance, but all are worth reading. My story “Caress” from Dreamspinner’s “Steamed Up” anthology will appear in the 2014 volume.

https://www.goodreads.com/series/65283-wilde-stories

Some good free stories from LHNB 2013:

Prisoner 374215  by Angel Martinez --  Sci-fi dystopian story about a man who no longer remembers who he was – angsty, dark and sweet!

The Sentinel by Eden Winters – Sci-fi story about a part android soldier who deserts in order to save a baby.  "Terminator" meets a gay version of "Two Men and a Baby".

When You Were Pixels by Julio-Alexi Genao – A highly rated bittersweet sci-fi story with a hurt/comfort, enemies-to-lovers theme.

You Get Full Credit For Being Alive by Cari Z. – I would classify this as a thriller with a m/m romance subplot. Really well-written assassin/thriller characters and plot.

The gothika anthology series

My love of this writing type of fiction inspired me to start a new series of anthologies of gothic horror/fantasy  stories with a m/m romance twist.  I brainstormed with Jamie Fessenden and gothika was born.  The first volume, “Stitch” came out Apr 21, 2014, and includes novellas by myself, Jamie, Kim Fielding and Sue Brown.  All of the stories in “Stitch” have a Frankenstine/made man theme. Each subsequent volume of gothika will have a different theme (the next one is called “Bones” and features Voodoo—it’s due out Halloween 2014).

I love all the stories in “Stitch”, which isn’t surprising given the fact that I love all the authors.  Kim’s story “The Golem of Mala Lubovnya” is set in 17^th century Eastern Europe and retells the golem legend with a lovely m/m spin.  “Watchworks” by Jamie Fessenden is set in Victorian London and involves a watchmaker and his unusual new client.   (hot!)  “Made For Aaron” by Sue Brown is a mostly contemporary story about a man who is rescued by an unlikely ally after being sent to an asylum for being homosexual.  My story, “Reparation” is set on a dystopian sci-fi planet but don’t let that scare you off—it’s a moody “Wuthering Heights” type story featuring a huge and sexy cyborg named Knox.

Go Wild

Check out “Stitch” of any of these other stories and take a walk on the wild side of m/m romance.  You might be surprised at how much you like the change of pace.

You can read an excerpt from my "Stitch" story here.

Eli Easton

Guest Kim Fielding: Heating Up Already?

Okay, so it's barely May and aleady it's in the upper 90s around here. I am stubbornly refusing to turn on the air conditioning--despite having a cold. I will suffer. The temptation in weather like this is to turn to something light and frothy. A beach read, right? Preferably one that actually occurs at the beach. If you're looking for that, I offer my novellaTreasure, which you can download for free here. Or maybe you want a road trip story, like my soon-to-be-released Motel. Pool. Or a vacation tale like Venetian Masks.

But you know what? I think you ought to be contrary. As those temps climb and the days grow longer, I think you should curl up with something a little dark. Something with monsters. Like our new anthology, Stitch, of course. It contains novellas by Sue Brown, Eli Easton, Jamie Fessenden, and me, each of which will make you think about what it really means to be human. Maybe you'll even be cooled a bit with a chill up your spine--or else heated up with some steamy lovin'.

The four of us will be joined by B.G. Thomas for a second book in the Gothika series; this book will contain voodoo stories. Mine's called "The Dance" and was submitted today. That book should release in time for Halloween.

In the meantime, pour yourself something cold and admire this cover:

Kim Fielding.

From Eli: thanks for being on my blog, Kim! As you know, I love all of your stuff. Looking forward to Motel. Pool.  And your story in "Stitch" is not to be missed.

The Bird - just completed

 

NOTE:  This is a TEMPORARY cover, not a final cover.  I just made it for my own iPad version.

It always feels great to turn in a finished story to the publisher.  Today I turned in a novella called "The Bird", which will be part of an anthology called "Bones" and is the second in the gothika series (the first was the just-released "Stitch").

The idea behind gothika is a series of anthologies that contain a few quality novellas with a common theme written by known m/m romance authors. Each story has a gothic romance flavor.  "Stitch" has stories by myself, Jamie Fessenden, Kim Fielding, and Sue Brown and had a Frankenstein/made man theme.  "Bones" will include those same authors plus B.G. Thomas and has a Voodoo theme.

The photo I used on my *TEMP* cover is from the movie "Wide Sargasso Sea" starring Nathaniel Parker. I've always loved films set in the West Indies during the British colonial days.  Stories like "Island of Dr. Moreau", "I Walked with a Zombie", the Night Gallery episode known as “The Caterpiller” where a man visiting the islands has an earwig crawl into his ear. There's something about the mystique of the islands set up against the stiff-upper-lip British which makes for great horror--and hot sex.

Here's a *TEMP* blurb for "The Bird":

Colin Hastings is sent to Jamaica in 1870 to save his father’s sugar cane plantation. If he succeeds, he can marry his fiancée back in London and take his place in proper English society. But Colin finds more than he bargained for on the island. His curiosity about Obeah, the native folk magic, leads him to agree to a dangerous ritual where he is offered his heart’s most secret desire. Colin has buried his sexuality deep inside himself. When that desire is exposed and placed into a bird, Colin becomes haunted by the creature. Is the bird a horror or his one chance at a life worth living?

I'll post more about "The Bird" and the other stories on "Bones" closer to publication.

Eli

Desktop: "stitch: Reparation"

The anthology "stitch" releases Apr 21, 2014. It contains four novellas by m/m romance authors including Kim Fielding, Sue Brown, Jamie Fessenden, and myself.  You can read about all the stories and an excerpt of "Reparation" here. PURCHASE LINK on Dreamspinner Press website.

This post is a 'desktop' post in which I share my inspiration and visual images I used while writing the story.

Inspiration for Setting & Mood:  Wuthuring Heights

Even though "Reparation" is a sci-fi dystopian novella, set on a different planet, it was inspired by Wuthuring Heights.  I've always loved the setting of Wuthuring Heights--the sense of desolation and isolation of the moors, the wild weather, and the primal feel that gives to young Heathcliff and Kathy.  Wuthuring Heights inspired my barren planet of Kalan and the sort of eighteenth-century English feel to the characters. Below are some of the Wuthuring Heights-ish images I used for tone.

Edward Palmer

Edward was born the second son in a family of spore farmers on the planet of Kalan. It's a very privileged position because the Federation values the spores highly and they only grow on one planet.  Edward both loves and hates the barren Kalan, a place where almost nothing grows except for the spores. He was never meant to take over the family farm.  He's not hard and ruthless like the other Kalanese farmers.  But he's forced to take over when his father and brother are both killed.  Struggling against the harsh conditions, and his own too-sympathetic nature, Edward is in desperate need of an ally.

"Reparation" has a somewhat Edwardian feeling and I used Jeremy Irvine from BBC's "Great Expectations" for inspiration for Edward.

Knox

Knox is a huge humanoid, a "recon" or reconstitute. Recons are labor slaves on Kalan, and they're part robot and part the remains of executed Federation prisoners.  Knox exists in a sort of mindless haze of drudgery until one day he saves Edward's life and is pulled into the curious young man's orbit.  Edward needs help to survive the harsh winter and Knox can provide it, but being around someone who treats him like a human being again, who gives him books, and expects him to carry responsibilities, causes Knox to remember things from his brain's past life that threaten his current stability.  And it doesn't help that Edward is genuinely kind, very attractive, and seems to want Knox.

I love Frankenstein characters and I had fun with Knox. His body is simply huge, muscled and masculine while his mind is a far more delicate thing.  I based his general looks (dark hair, face etc) on Tom Hardy in Wuthuring Heights.

For his body, I used a number of sports images for inspiration including Jeremy Shockey and Clay Matthews:

Trevellyn (tray-VELL-an)

It's a bit of a spoiler to say who Trevellyn is, but he is important in the story.  I based him on Ralph Fiennes in Strange Days.

The Spores

The spores, which are farmed on Kalan to make life-saving pharmaceuticals, are an important character in the story.  The families that hold the huge farms and harvest the spores are exempt from the Federation military service, are wealthy, and have other privileges.  It's a very harsh life though, and if a farmer slips up and loses too many of the precious spores, his land can be taken from him.

The spores in "Reparation" are from a type of lichen that grows on the rocky purple surface of Kalan.   Below are some research images.

If you're curious about "Reparation" you can read an excerpt here.

Or check out the Goodread entry here.

Eli Easton

Cover Reveal: The Mating of Michael

 

Here's the cover for "The Mating of Michael", due in June 2014.  This romance features Michael Lamont, the sex surrogate that appeared in "The Trouble with Tony" (Sex in Seattle #1) and "The Enlightenment of Daniel" (Sex in Seattle #2).  This is my first full novel length m/m romance story, so it will be coming out in paperback as well as an eBook.  I'll post the link and final release date when I have it.

Here's an older post with an excerpt.

Eli

"Stitch" is now available for pre-order!

"Stitch" is coming out Apr 21st and is now on the Dreamspinner Coming Soon page and available for pre-order.

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=4907

This anthology has FOUR gothic m/m romance novellas, all with a Frankenstein theme. The authors are myself, Sue Brown, Kim Fielding, and Jamie Fessenden.

And here it is on goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20705898-stitch?from_search=true

Eli

What I'm Working on: Kingdom Come

I haven't posted for a bit, so I thought I should give you an update.  I have a few things coming up and a new novel in the works. COMING UP:

APRIL:  an anthology of 4 novellas called "Stitch" is coming out from Dreamspinner Press.  The anthology includes novellas by myself, Jamie Fessenden, Kim Fielding, and Sue Brown.  All the novellas have a Frankenstein/created man theme.  I'm excited about this and hope it does well.  Here's the cover.

JUNE:  I'll have a story in this year's Dreamspinner's Daily Dose, a novella called "Heaven Can't Wait".  Also in June or July, "The Mating of Michael" comes out. It's my first full-length m/m novel (73K words) and is the 3rd in the Sex in Seattle series.  It stars Michael Lamont, a sex therapist, and I hope you all love it as much as I do!

IN PROGRESS:

I'm working on a novella for the next gothika anthology that's a m/m romance and gothic Voodoo-themed story. It's tenatively called "The Bird".

"Kingdom Come" -- I'm also currently writing a novel that's a bit different for me. It's a murder mystery with a m/m romance.  I have written and published mysteries before, in my 'past life', but I haven't done one in a few years, and never with a m/m romance element to it.  The book is set in contemporary Lancaster County, PA, where I currently reside. The plot involves the Amish culture.  One MC is a homicide detective and the other is a young Amish widower.  The mystery is quite heavy and dark.  I hope to see it published in 2014.  Here's a little taste of a visual I have been using to inspire myself.  (NOTE:  This is not a book cover, just a little wallpaper I made for myself.)  Click for a closer view.

That's all the news for now.  Enjoy the early spring and I'll post more about "Stitch" soon!

Eli

Recommended: "The Reluctant Berserker" by Alex Beecroft

 

Amazing. This book will be in my 'year's best' for sure.

First, I want to say that as a writer I admire good writing, especially as I read so heavily in m/m romance where the writing is often just serviceable (and not exactly the point). That's not to denigrate any author, because my own work doesn't always soar like the eagles, only to say that when I find a book where the writing is as good as any book I've ever read, I'm very impressed.

I love this author's way with prose and there are so many wonderful and original analogies in this book. Here are just a few of the dozens I highlighted:

For when he looked up, he saw that all the clouds had drawn apart. The night was on them full, and acres and acres of sharp stars were poised to fall on him with killing cold.

This disappointment was strange and ungrateful in him, he thought, tasting at the back of his throat like blood from a nosebleed.

In his frustration, Wulfstan's sodden maze of pleasure-drunken thoughts turned into a sack full of snakes.

I could go on, but that gives you an idea. I am wary of books (and I have seen some reviewed lately) where the author's voice becomes so over-wrought and egotistically poetic that the story is lost in a vomit of flowers, but that is certainly not the case here. The story and plot are always driving forward with the strong prose supporting it but never detracting from it.

As for the story/plot itself. I don't read a ton of historical fiction, but when I do, I like it to feel authentic and take me to a time and place I know little about and make me feel like I'm there. This book achieves that. The attitudes towards homosexuality, the touches of witchcraft and religion, the characters of the scobs or musicians, all felt very true to the time and I enjoyed the texture a great deal. There was action and angst and miscommunication in the plot, but thankfully the miscommunication was not overly done and neither MC was overly weak or fearful of saying what they wanted. The plot was rich and fast-paced enough that it kept me reading til the end.

Like many contemporary m/m romances, the ultimate theme is a common one--accepting who you are. Nothing really new there, yet the journey to it was unique enough that I was happy. The romance was quite good too -- both MCs were beautiful and appealing and I loved the twist of their contrary natures and how beautifully they fit together.

"Your father--" "If he has any wisdom, would accept that our wyrd is woven for us in our very nature, and all our choices only tend to that end. Better to accept fate joyfully than to fight it, for it will win no matter what we do."

I would give this book more than 5 stars for the great writing and research, the fast-paced plot and taking me to another time, but I do have one nit. After 380 pages of waiting of our MCs to finally consummate their relationship, not giving us another paragraph or two of description (at least) felt a bit stingy on the author's part. The sex is basically fade to black. I don't need pages of detailed erotica, but wanted at least to be inside Wulfstan's head as he finally got his wish and experience his joy and pleasure.

Also, I will say, it is confusing the attitude portrayed about homosexuality in the book. In this story, it was acceptable for a Lord or warrior, or any older man, to keep and use a 'boy' for sex, quite openly, but somehow incredibly shameful for any 'man' to take it up the ass. So any boy or slave who was or had been so used was reviled as womanly and weak, the ultimate insult, and would never be free of such a reputation even once grown. This may or may not be completely historically accurate in the culture portrayed in this book--which was ancient Saxony. But if accurate, the attitude is confusing as hell. I can understand the idea that a man allowing another man to f*ck him would be considered weak and shameful to a warrior society, but the easy acceptance and common occurance of a Lord having a homosexual relationship with a boy lover for years (when women were freely available in the hall) is less believable. In my research into medieval England, though men did use boys thus, it was not open and was typically in a situation like travel or battle where women were not available as an alternative. But whether or not it was 100% historically accurate for ancient Saxony, it worked for this plot and anyway, there were touches of fantasy in this (as with the witchcraft), so I can accept it in that light. It just left me curious!

Thanks for a great read, Alex Beecroft. I need to go get False Colors now.

Eli

"Heaven Can't Wait" novella to be in Dreamspinner's "Daily Dose" June 2014

I just got the news that my novella "Heaven Can't Wait" will appear in Dreamspinner's Daily Dose this year.  If you're not familiar with Daily Dose, it goes like this.  You can subscribe to the whole Daily Dose package and receive a new short story or novella in the mail every day in June.  "Heaven Can't Wait" will also be available for individual sale after June 1st, 2014. Here's the image I used for inspiration for my two MCs Chuck and Kevin.  (This picture is Ty Roderick and Max Carter from CockyBoys):

And here's the *temporary* blurb I submitted along with the manuscript.

Brian Matheson died at the ripe age of nineteen.  In heaven he’s informed that his soul is in a limbo state.  He’ll have one last chance to redeem himself before he’s thrown into a very nasty pit. All Brian has to do is return to earth and save a life. The trick is, it’s the life of Kevin, his friend Chuck’s roommate. See Kevin is gay, and Brian and all his pals picked on him, making his life a misery.  Still, Brian can see the error of his old ways now.  And he can succeed at this challenge, turn Kevin’s life around, and avoid going to hell.  Easy peasy.  Right?

Kevin thought he’d left bullying behind in high school.  But then his college roommate, Chuck, showed up and turned out to be friends with a bunch of gay-baiters.  They loved to come over and give Kevin a hard time, so he spent as many hours as he could in the coffee shop.  He was lonely and shy and he was depressed, but he had to hang in there until another room opened up.  That and keep his eyes off his drop-dead sexy, uber-straight roommate.

Everyone thought Chuck was a tough guy. He looked the part so he acted the part. But what none of his friends knew is that Chuck, on the inside, was nothing at all like the exterior.  He tried to be like all the other guys, but being stuck in a dorm room with the prettiest, gayest twink he’d ever seen was so not helping. 

If Brian can untangle this mess, he’ll deserve his wings.  Good frickin’ luck.

As you can probably tell, it's got some humor, some paranormal, and some sexy UST.  The novella is 17.4K words long.

Eli

Trailer for "Stitch" anthology

Jamie Fessenden made a cool trailer for our upcoming anthology, "Stitch", which will have 4 gothic m/m romance novellas by Jamie, Kim Fielding, Sue Brown and myself.  Watch it here!  Stitch is due out Apr 2014. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVCZ8S7uYZA

"The Mating of Michael" gets a contract

Yay!  Today I got a contract for "The Mating of Michael". This is my first full length novel with Dreamspinner Press at 73K words. It is the 3rd in the Sex in Seattle series and features sex surrogate Michael Lamont.  Pub date is Jun-Jul 2014. I'll post more about it later. For now, here's a picture I used for inspiration for Michael (this is L.A. model Isaiah Garnica).

Eli

Just Finished: Heaven Can't Wait novella

 

I just finished writing/editing a 17.5K work novella called "Heaven Can't Wait".  It's a humorous, bit sexy, m/m romance. I have submitted it to an anthology.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Here's my (temp) blurb for the story:

Brian Matheson died at the ripe age of nineteen.  In heaven he’s informed that his soul is in a limbo state.  He’ll have one last chance to redeem himself before he’s thrown into a very nasty pit. All Brian has to do is return to earth and save a life. The trick is, it’s the life of Kevin, his friend Chuck’s roommate. See Kevin is gay, and Brian and all his pals picked on him, making his life a misery.  Still, Brian can see the error of his ways now.  And he can succeed at this challenge, turn Kevin’s life around, and avoid going to hell.  Easy peasy.  Right?

Kevin thought he’d left bullying behind in high school.  But then his college roommate, Chuck, showed up and turned out to be friends with a bunch of gay-baiters.  They loved to come over and give Kevin a hard time, so he spent as many hours as he could in the coffee shop.  He was lonely and shy and he was depressed, but he had to hang in there until another room opened up.  That and keep his eyes off his drop-dead sexy, uber-straight roommate.

Everyone thought Chuck was a tough guy. He looked the part so he acted the part. But what none of his friends knew is that Chuck, on the inside, was nothing at all like the exterior.  He tried to be like all the other guys, but being stuck in a dorm room with the prettiest, gayest twink he’d ever seen was so not helping. 

If Brian can untangle this mess, he’ll deserve his wings.  Good frickin’ luck.

Hopefully the story will come out in the summer 2014.

Eli

Book Rec: Know Not Why by Hannah Johnson

 

I *adored* this book so much. It's definitely going to be in my best reads of the year list. I've been in the mood for a good, solid, straight-up, slow build contemporary--no shifters or magic in sight--and this was exactly what I needed. There are so many things I loved about it.

First, the first person POV narrative voice was so witty and funny. It reminds me of a kinder, gentler "Tell Me It's Real". It took me a chapter or two to get into it, but then I just floated all the way through, often laughing outloud. I highlighted favorite passages like a wild person.

Second, I love gfy-coming of age stories and this one was ideal. The main MC, Howie, is 22 but he's been living at home helping out his mom after his father's death and he is still a virgin. He thinks he likes girls--until he meets Arthur. At first there's a lot of antagonism between the two, but Hannah places lots of hints that Howie's feelings are mixed, to say the least.

There's a slow-burn romance, which I love, and some lovely UST. Howie and Arthur are very cute together and crazy (obnoxious, funny) Howie helps stiff Arthur come out of his shell.

I loved the setting of the yarn shop and all the secondary characters were fully-fleshed and lovable. Kristy was hilarious and I loved the Mitch/Amber subplot. Lots of sweet, adorable feels and snarkiness. It doesn't get any better than that!

If there was one thing I would have liked more of, it was the sexy times. Other than a few kisses, all of it was off-page. Which, you know, it doesn't need to be endlessly explicit, but when it's an MC's first time, and first time with a guy, I at least would like to be present for it, even if it's described in a high-level way, because it is rather transformative. But compared to the joy this book gave me, that's a minor nit.

I hope Hannah Johnson writes more. I'll be first in line to buy it. Some of my favorite quotes:

My mind turns back on gradually, clunkily, the way lights go on in a warehouse, row after row, click-buzzz - click-buzzzz - click-buzzzz.

Every piece of me -- every nerve, every hair, every damn cell -- sings out one matching song in perfect harmony, and that song is FUUUUUUUCK.

...all of a sudden it's like, here he is, in the flesh, he's still a flesh-type creature that exists, and it's flesh that's been in contact with my flesh, I wish I would stop thinking the word 'flesh,' you know what's a gross, creepy, weird word? 'Flesh.' I think my brain is melting. I think I've having a stroke. Or a coronary. Or porphyria. I KNEW HE WOULD GIVE ME PORPHYRIA.

"Um," Arthur says. He's looking at me dead-on, like he's forcing himself to do it. God, I wish he would knock it off. I also wish he'd lose his eyelashes in a freak eyelash fire incident. And his lips, too, because all of a sudden I'm looking at them, what is that?"

I miss Lindsay, and we have, like negative chemistry. Innocent bystanders cringed when they saw us within five feet of each other.

"Come in," Arthur says brusquely in response to my knock -- the softest, reluctantest, unknockiest knock in the history of that long, complicated relationship betwixt doors and knuckles.

Well, I could quote this book all day. If you like humor and romance at all you should read this book. I wish I could send it a zillion readers.

Eli

Cover reveal: Stitch

 

We have a cover for Stitch!  Stitch is the first volume of a new series called Gothika.  I personally love dark, gothic-romantic stories, and I love m/m.  I was a bit disappointed last year when there didn't seem to be many new things out in m/m for Halloween that were, well, Halloween-y.  So Jamie Fessenden and I started talking about doing an anthology together. And we had so many ideas that turned into a series of anthologies.  We were fortunate enough to get Sue Brown and Kim Fielding to agree to participate.  Et voila.

Each volume of Gothika has a theme and includes four novellas.  The theme of Stitch is Frankenstein/Pygmalion/Robot type creatures. In other words, one of the MCs is a man-made man.  I have always loved stories like this and there aren't many in the m/m category.

The stories in this volume include:

Made For Aaron -- by Sue Brown

Reparation -- by Eli Easton

The Watchwork Man -- by Jamie Fessenden

The Golem of Mala Lubovnya -- by Kim Fielding

I'll be posting more about this anthology later.  It is slated for April 2014 publication.  We'll have a second volume of Gothika out for Halloween 2014.

Eli

Where Do Stories Come From: Guest Post by BG Thomas

“Where Do Stories Come From?”  or  “It All Started With This Really Cute Guy at Church”

In all honesty, my new novel “Hound Dog & Bean” really didn’t start with a guy. But he certainly was the water that started the seeds to germinating!

Ever heard of the author Connie Willis? I hope so. She is amazing, and if I’m correct, she still holds the record for being the most awarded writer ever. She’s won eleven Hugo Awards and seven Nebula Awards.

Several years ago I was extremely fortunate to be her liaison when she was Guest of Honor at ConQuest, Kansas City’s big SF&F convention. That meant I got to spend a ton of quality time with my idol over those three days and I will never be the same. I owe so much to Ms Willis. She not only encouraged me to pursue writing, but she gave me tons of advice that helped shape me into the writer I have become. She used to teach the Clarion Workshop, so believe you me, I received extraordinary guidance! And I didn’t even have to take the six week class!

One thing she taught me was that sometimes a writer will get an idea for a story and then discover it’s just not quite idea enough to be a story. But then sometimes they are lucky enough to have two such ideas that can be married together to create a truly great story.

Such was the happenstance with her multi-award winning novella, “The Last of the Winnebagos.”

Ms Willis is a Colorado resident and that can mean mountainous roads. And if you’re driving in the mountains and you get trapped behind a motorhome, it’s a frustrating situation indeed. You might be in a rush, but believe me, you’re not going anywhere fast with that thing lumbering in front of you. You’ll be lucky if you’re going thirty-five miles an hour.

So she got an idea for story about a not too distant future where such slow-moving gas-guzzling vehicles have been made all but illegal. Sadly though, it wasn’t enough to be its own story.

Sometime later with an idea about another near-distant future where all the dogs in the world had died and the laws against hurting an animal are frighteningly severe. Don’t even get caught hitting at animal if it runs out in front of your car or who knows what the punishment might be.

And suddenly she saw that both ideas went perfectly together and thus was born “The Last of the Winnebagos.” I won’t tell you how the two ideas fit together or I’ll ruin it the story. So read it. Just read it. You’ll be glad you did.

It is Ms Willis’ advice that brought “Hound Dog & Bean,” my new novel, into existence.

My husband and I adopted a sweet little dog from the Great Plains SPCA. We named her Sarah Jane and she has become the light of my life. As I began to talk to the people who work and volunteer their time for no-kill animal shelters, I came to realize I wanted to write a book about these heroes.

I also fell in love with coffee. I used to hate it. Then I got an education from coffee connoisseurs and discovered that Maxwell House and Folgers are hardly what coffee lovers would ever call coffee in the first place. I learned about the difference between Arabica beans and Robusta beans. About the First Wave, Second Wave and Finally the Third Wave of coffee. The small cafés that often roast their own coffee in small batches and purchase their beans from tiny farms are a part of the “Third Wave.”  They pay the farmers a good earning wage to grow high quality beans and get them to harvest over days instead of all at once to insure more of the crop is ripe.

People who really love coffee will pay more for a cup because they know what has gone into the process of bringing them the best drinking experience possible. I have gotten to know Gregory Kolsto, the man who owns Oddly Correct in Kansas City and he fell head over heels in love with coffee and I soon knew that it was something I wanted to write about.

Since in the MM Romance field we obviously need to have two men to fall in love with each other, I suddenly realized that I had an opportunity to take the advice of Ms Willis. My new novel would be about both a man who runs a no-kill animal shelter and a man who owns a coffee roasterie and café.

And here’s the blurb!:

There's been little love in H.D. “Hound Dog” Fisher's life since the death of his beloved mom when he was a boy. Bounced around the foster care system, he ran away as soon as he could… and took the foster dog with him. As far as he's concerned, only dogs have no ulterior motive, never hold a grudge, and offer unconditional love. Now he helps run a no-kill shelter and leaves relationships where they belong: in the back room.

  “Bean” Alexander settled in Kansas City to open his coffee shop after years of traveling. He never expected to open his heart too. When a man with a grudge takes a swing at H.D. while in line at Bean's shop, Bean jumps to intervene.

  So taking a hit for H.D. gets Bean noticed, and H.D. feels obligated to pay a debt. But then the unexpected happens. A series of misadventures causes H.D. to open up—but falling in love makes him turn tail and run. Trust is a tough road to travel. Will good friends, a dog named Sarah Jane, and a bit of folk magic be enough to bring Hound Dog and Bean a happy ending?

I hope I have done justice to both the wondrous people who run no-kill animal shelters and to fine coffee.

Oh. Gregory, who owns the café Oddly Correct, is heterosexual. Sad for us gay guys. Good news for all the straight ladies! He really does make what is known in the trade as “God in a cup.” His beans are extraordinary. You must try his coffee if you can. I am even going to give you the opportunity—for free!

But lastly I should probably tell you about the cute guy I began this whole thing with, right?

So there I was at church when—Cowabunga! I saw the sexiest and cutest guy I’d seen in a long time. What’s funny is that he wasn’t my usual type, which is bearded and broad and hairy-chested. No. This guy was actually shorter than me (!), slight, and had blond dreadlocks. I’d never thought the hairstyle was particularly sexy, but on this guy? WOOF!

I quite suddenly knew he was my Hound Dog! So over the next several weeks I built up the courage to ask him if he would consider posing for the cover of the book. I am learning the art of photography and dreamed of having one of my photographs serving as a cover for one of my books. What’s more, with this dude, I could have him hold my own sweet dog—Sarah Jane—and she would be on the cover too!

I asked...and he agreed!

And then weirdly vanished. Into thin air. It’s been months and months and months and I have never seen him again.

Luckily the incomparable Paul Richmond came to the rescue and created a cover and a Hound Dog that out-hound-dogged the original inspiration! Needless to say I am a very happy camper even if I never got to drool...I mean, photograph that cute guy.

Okay!  That’s it folks. I hope you will buy my new book. I think you will love it, I really do, and not just because I wrote it. Find it right here!:  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/advanced_search_result.php?keywords=Hound+Dog+%26+Bean&osCsid=bfqvecgkr8opvdmaerpdv7s4f6&x=0&y=0

And here’s the promotions!  There will be three—count them—three prizes...

One, an ecopy of Hound Dog & Bean. Comment to qualify.

And Two!—a bag of premium roasted coffee beans donated by Oddly Correct! This is from Finca Sinai – Alfredo Boas. It is a “Best of Huila Winner,” with bright raspberry & lime tones, along with savory cocoa and herb character and a silkier “mouthfeel.” It is not flavored. The description is coffee-language, and you will be amazed at the taste!

For this one you must email me at BGThomaswriter@aol.com, and sorry—you must be in the continental United States for this one. I don’t want to have to take out a second mortgage on my house to pay for mailing this outside the country!

Thank you for taking the time to read me today, Thank you so much to Eli Easton for having me as a guest.

Please (!) check out Oddly Correct’s website! You’ll be glad that you did.  http://oddlycorrect.com/index.html

And finally!! Please—if you are thinking about getting a dog or cat, please consider adoption. They make the best pets and companions. They really do know somehow that you rescued them. I didn’t believe it until I got my own Sarah Jane.

Love and Light to you All.

And Remember!  Leap and the Net Will Appear!

About BG Thomas

B.G. loves romance, comedies, fantasy, science fiction and even horror—as far as he is concerned, as long as the stories are character driven and entertaining, it doesn't matter the genre. He has gone to literature conventions his entire adult life where he's been lucky enough to meet many of his favorite writers. He has made up stories since he was child; it is where he finds his joy.

In the nineties, he wrote for gay magazines but stopped because the editors wanted all sex without plot. "The sex is never as important as the characters," he says. "Who cares what they are doing if we don't care about them?" Excited about the growing male/male romance market, he began writing again. Gay men are what he knows best, after all—since he grew out of being a "practicing" homosexual long ago. He submitted a story and was thrilled when it was accepted in four days.

"Leap, and the net will appear" is his personal philosophy and his message to all. "It is never too late," he states. "Pursue your dreams. They will come true!"

Visit his website and blog at http://bthomaswriter.wordpress.com/ or contact him directly at bgthomaswriter@aol.com.

"Superhero" Wins A Best YA of 2013 award from GR

"Superhero" won 3rd place for Best Young Adult book of 2013 from the Goodread's m/m romance group.  That is so amazing!  Thanks for those who voted for it. You can see all the winners here: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1642136-2013-member-choice-awards-winners-list

Oh, Michael!

On December 31st and 5pm EST, I submitted "The Mating of Michael" to Dreamspinner.  This is relevant why?  Because I promised myself (among other people) I'd get it done in 2013 and turn it in in December.  Talk about under the wire! I'm very exited about "The Mating of Michael" for a few reasons:

1.  It's my first full m/m novel at 73K words, so it will be in paperback too.  Yo.

2.  I think it's pretty good.

3.  One of the MCs is Michael Lamont, who had some fun scenes in "The Trouble With Tony" and "The Enlightenment of Daniel".  People have commented that they're looking forward to Michael's story.

4.  I am *in love* with Michael Lamont.

Of course, I love all of my characters to a greater or lesser degree, but I am really gone on Michael.  Physically, he is based on the L.A. model Isaiah Garnica.  Below are a few of my favorite pictures that I put on my desktop while writing.

Personality wise, though, Michael is very different from any other character I've written before. He's a R.N. and a licensed sex surrogate for Expanded Horizons, the sex clinic that the Sex in Seattle series is based around.  Michael was such an interesting character to write.  He's extremely empathetic and compassionate and very sensual.  When someone is hurting, he wants to make them feel better, and he does that using his sexuality. He works with clients who really need help for various reasons.  You will meet a few of them in "The Mating of Michael".

I found it fascinating to research sex surrogacy and tried to represent the field accurately (whilst being entertaining, of course).

What Michael wants most, though, is a love of his own.  Will he ever find a guy who can appreciate his gentle, giving nature and not be freaked out about the surrogacy?  It will take someone very special, that's for sure.  I discarded several options for the other MC--until I found James.  You'll learn more about him later.

Estimated publication date:  April-June 2014

For now, here's an excerpt -- Michael working with a new client, Lem Peterson (Note: Lem is NOT the other MC.  Just to be clear!):

EXCERPT (The Mating of Michael, unedited):

When Michael opened the door of his apartment, Lem Peterson looked like he was on the verge of expiring from mortification. His milky blue eyes dropped immediately to stare at his shoes and his round face went an alarming shade of tomato pink.  He looked seconds away from fleeing and Michael steeled himself to prevent that at any cost. He’d just have to be the sweetest, most innocuous little damn ray of sunshine Lem Peterson had ever seen.

“Mr. Peterson? It’s so lovely to meet you. Please come in. It’s drafty in the hall, isn’t it?”

Michael’s apartment was on Capitol Hill, Seattle’s gay neighborhood, and it was in a converted old house. Michael loved the high ceilings and 1900’s mouldings, but it was a bit cold. Nevertheless, the nudge was meant more to give Mr. Peterson a good reason to step inside. Thankfully, he did.

“I…” Mr. Peterson said, before his throat apparently closed up. He was still looking at his shoes.

“Do you like hot tea?  I made a nice pot of chamomile. But I can also make you a cup of coffee if you prefer.”

Choices. Give the man something to agree to.

“Tea is fine. I like tea. Thank you,” Mr. Peterson said in a very soft voice. He dared a glance at Michael’s face before blushing harder and looking down again.

Well, that was progress.

“Good. I’ll go get the tea. You can toss your coat on that chair and take a seat on the sofa in the living room. I’ll be right there.”

Michael stepped into his little kitchen, giving Mr. Peterson a chance to hopefully decide to take off his coat and sit down. Michael’s living room was cozy and warm, with deep orange and red Oriental prints, an electric space heater, low lighting and a few lit candles and incense. He hadn’t gone all out with the candles, didn’t want to scare Mr. Peterson off, but a few were always nice to create a relaxed ambience. Soft instrumental Hindu music played in the background.

When Michael brought out a tray with a pot of tea and two Japanese cups, Mr. Peterson was sitting at the far end of the couch, pressed up against the side. He’d removed his coat but not his scarf.  Michael put the tray down on the coffee table and took a seat in the middle of the couch. He poured tea into both cups.

“Cream or sugar?”

“No thank you.”

Michael held one of the cups out to Mr. Peterson.  The man hesitated, then took it quickly, as if afraid to get too close to Michael’s hand. Michael made no comment.

“So you’ve been working with Dr. Halloran. What do you think of him?” he asked, sitting back casually.

Mr. Peterson sat with his thighs close together, leaned forward with both elbows on his knees. He was not a small man, at least two hundred pounds, and the position looked uncomfortable, poor guy. He held the small teacup with two beefy hands.

“I like Dr. Halloran,” he said quietly. He darted a glance at Michael. “I’m very nervous. I’m s-sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Michael said softly. “You can be whatever you want with me. You’re safe here.”

“But, I mean, you’re so….”

Mr. Peterson chugged his tea in a single gulp, then turned redder.  Damn, the tea was hot. That probably hurt.

Michael spoke lightly. “I’m just me, and you’re just you. I hope we can be friends.”

Peterson darted a look at him and nodded once. “That would be nice.”  He shifted his shoulders uncomfortably.  “I’m really sweating. I’m sorry.”

“Are you hot? Sorry about that. I get chilled.” Michael got up and shut off the floor heater.

“It’s okay, I—”

“Can I take your scarf or would you like to keep it on?” Michael stood in front of Mr. Peterson, smiling.

Mr. Peterson’s eyes got stuck at Michael’s waist, darting back and forth as if fascinated by his sweater.

“Okay.” He swallowed loudly and took off the scarf and handed it to Michael. Michael put it on the chair with Peterson’s coat and sat back down where he’d been before.

“What exactly makes you nervous about being here? Would you like to talk about that, Mr. Peterson?”

“Please call me Lem.”

“Thank you, Lem. You can call me Michael.”

“Okay. Michael.” Lem reached out and poured himself more tea, which Michael counted as a win. “You’re very… handsome. It makes me nervous to be around… men. I mean any man who…. you know, isn’t really old or a child or something. My parents… they were wonderful people, but they didn’t approve of s-s-sexual feelings of any kind.” Lem blushed again. “Not that I have sexual feelings for you,” he said hurriedly. “I just get nervous around anyone when it’s even a possibility.”

Michael could tell Lem had been working with Jack. He seemed to have a handle on what the issue was, at least.

“I understand. But I think that’s sad, that your mom felt that way about sex. Sex is a part of love, and love is the nicest part of being a human being.”

“That’s what Dr. Halloran says.” Lem looked down at his cup. “I’d like to get better.  I’d like to be able to maybe… m-meet someone. Or maybe be with someone I’ve already met.”

Michael perked up. “Oh? Do you like someone now?”

Lem tittered nervously. “Not exactly but… I have a client named John. I do his taxes. He… he seems to like me. I think. But I have no idea how to… I mean, I get like this when he comes to my office, and it’s….” He trailed off weakly.

“That’s good though,” Michael smiled. “It’s so much easier to work at therapy when you have a specific goal in mind, don’t you think? Have you talked to Dr. Halloran about John?”

Lem nodded. “He thinks it would be a good goal for me to be able to go out on a d-date with John. But I have a lot of work to do before I would feel comfortable doing that.  I mean, look at me. I’m a mess.” He chuckled nervously.

He was, poor thing. His voice shook, his face was still red, and he had sweat gleaming on his temple. He couldn’t meet Michael’s gaze for more than a second at a time and he looked about as uncomfortable as a Lutheran in a flop house. But he was still here, bless him, and he was talking. That took heart.

“Well, I think you’re doing great. Tell me what kind of guys you find attractive.”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care about that. Just someone nice I guess.”

Lem seemed put off by the question. Well, that topic was a no go. Michael made himself take a breath and try to get a read on the situation. He wanted to make Lem feel less anxious, and Michael sensed he was scared to death about what might be coming, about the possibility of contact. It was like being worried about a first kiss on a date.  Maybe it would be better to just get it over with and make sure Lem knew the game plan.

“We’ll take this slow, Lem, don’t worry.  For today, I’d love to just talk to you and get to know you better. And maybe we could try having you touch my hand. Would that be okay?”

Lem sort of shuddered and studied the cup in his paws. “I… how would that....”

“Do you have a pet?”

Lem smiled and glanced at Michael. “I have a Pekenese. Her name is Margaret. She’s a really sweet dog.”

“I love dogs! Do you pet Margaret?”

“Oh, yeah. We watch TV together at night, and she sits on my lap. I pet her a lot. That doesn’t bother me,” Lem said in a rush.

Michael’s heart ached for Lem, but at least he was getting some affection in his life. Thank God for animals.

“Then maybe you could try touching my hand the way you pet Margaret. See what you think of it.” Michael carefully placed his hand, palm up, on the sofa between them.

Lem glanced at it and then away. “You have a n-nice hand.”

“Thank you.” Michael left it there.

Lem put the cup down and rubbed his eyes.  He turned his body, which was stiff with tension, slightly on the couch toward Michael. With his eyes fixed on Michael’s hand, he licked his lips and then reached out and touched Michael’s palm. He kept his fingers tightly together and petted Michael’s palm three times before putting his hand back in his own lap.

“That was nice,” Michael said gently. “It felt good. You doin’ all right?”

“I’m okay.” Lem whispered.

“Good. Would you like to try it again? And this time, I’m going to give you an assignment, all right? I want you to describe for me how it feels—the texture, the way it looks, anything that comes into your mind.”

Lem took a deep breath and licked his lips nervously. He reached out and stoked Michael’s palm again, this time with his index and middle finger taking a more active role.

“Your… your skin is cooler than mine,” he said. “But then, I’m, uh, I’m really w-warm right now.”

“Your fingers do feel warm. What else can you tell me about how it feels?”

“It’s softer than I thought it would be. Softer than my hand. Maybe you use lotion?”

“I do use lotion. What else?”

“You have a lot of lines in your palm.” Lem stroked them lightly. “Is that supposed to mean you’re an old soul or something?”

Michael smiled. “I’ve heard that. I don’t know if I believe it. Do you?”

“I don’t have much of an imagination, I’m afraid,” Lem said self-depricatingly.

“Being practical is good. Sometimes I wish I was more practical. Is there anything else you notice about my hand?”

“You have very l-long fingers. Long and thin.”

“Do they feel boney to you?” He elevated his index finger so Lem could get around it.

“Um…” Lem felt it cautiously.

“It’s okay. You can say whatever comes into your head. I won’t be insulted.”

“Maybe a little boney.  But not in a bad way. More like, I dunno, a bird or something.”

Michael smiled. “That’s a lovely image.  How do you feel inside when you touch my hand?”

“All right.” Lem kept petting Michael’s hand as if it was, indeed, a Pekinese. “But I’m not really thinking about it like… like… you know.”  He couldn’t get the words out, and just thinking them made him blush scarlet again and pull away his hand as if he’d been caught doing something wrong.

“Like something sexual? That’s okay. It would be awesome for you just to get used to touching someone. You don’t have to think about it in a sexual way right now.” Michael left his hand on the couch.

There was a tentative pause before Lem reached out and touched Michael’s palm again. By his elevated breathing, and the blotchy affect appearing on the back of his own hand, Michael would put money on the fact that Lem was thinking about sex this time. Michael felt a little touch of arousal as Lem stroked his palm. He could go with it and get hard if he wanted to, not because he found Lem physically attractive, but because the man was sweet and he tugged hard at Michael’s empathy. But Lem was far from needing an erection from Michael, and if he sensed there was one, it would probably scare the poor guy to death. Michael took a deep breath and willed it away.

“That feels really nice,” Michael said gently. “Would you like to talk about how it makes you feel when you think about sex?”

Lem huffed. “Bad.”

“Bad how?”

“G-guilty. Like it’s wrong to think about it. To want it. Like I’m a bad person.”

“When you pet Margaret, do you feel guilty about that?”

Lem looked insulted. “No. But I don’t feel that way about her. I mean, she’s a dog.”

Michael smiled. “I know. But it’s affection. You give Margaret affection and she gives you affection in return.”

“I guess so.”

“Do you think she likes it when you show her affection?”

“She loves to be petted.”

“And you feel happy when she licks your face and shows you she loves you?”

“Sure. She’s my best friend.” Lem smiled at the words. He really did love that dog.

Lem was petting Michael’s palm, calmer now, and Michael let his fingers curl up just a little so they brushed against Lem’s hand as it moved.

“That’s not something to feel guilty about, is it? Giving affection to your dog and getting it in return.”

“No. But that’s different.”

“It is different. But when you really like a person, and they really like you, then it’s natural to want to show each other affection. And sex is a great way for two people who really like each other to show affection and make each other feel good, feel happy. You don’t need to feel guilty about making someone happy, or even making yourself happy.”

“That’s what Dr. Halloran says. He says my body was made for it, or I wouldn’t have those feelings.  I wouldn’t be able to… you know, if my body wasn’t made to do that.  It’s just like it was made to breathe or eat and digest food and eliminate waste. That means it is by definition natural and being natural means it’s not wrong.”

Michael could tell Lem was a logical thinker, and this reasoning brought him some comfort.

“Well, Dr. Halloran is a hella smart guy.”

Lem frowned, looking conflicted. “I know that’s all true in my head. That is, I know it now, but it’s hard to change your thinking. I was always taught I shouldn’t… t-touch myself and stuff because it was a sin and God found it disgusting.”

Lem’s voice shook a little and Michael knew there was a tidal wave behind those words, years of rants, years of belittling.  He felt so bad for Lem. He just wanted to hug him tight, but Michael had to take this slow.

“It is hard to change your way of thinking, but you’re your own person, not your parents, and you said you’d like to have a relationship someday?”

Lem swallowed. “Yes. I really do. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Then you can do it. I have faith in you. Dr. Halloran is a really good doctor. And I’d like to help.”

“Thank you,” Lem said to Michael’s hand. “You seem like a very nice person. This is….” He expelled a heavy sigh. “This is the first time I’ve ever touched anyone like this. I’m still nervous but… it’s not bad.”

“Yeah?” Michael felt a swell of pride and pleasure. God, he was such a basket case. It meant more to him to hear someone like Lem say holding his hand was ‘not bad’ than having some good-looking leather daddy plow him in a club’s bathroom. By a million miles.

He tried very hard not to sound as moved as he was. “Well, I think you’re doing great, Lem. Would like to hold my hand now? We can just sit here and chat while we do that. I’d like to hear more about what you like to do for fun.”

Lem froze, his hand hovering over Michael’s. “I guess that would be all right.”

It was clear he wasn’t sure how to go about it, so Michael interlaced his fingers with Lem’s and placed their paired hands on the couch.

“There. Okay?”

Lem gulped. “Okay.”

“So tell me what TV shows you like to watch…”